


The Case Before Christmas

by LonelyAquarian



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Christmas Special, Court, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-16 22:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyAquarian/pseuds/LonelyAquarian
Summary: Jackson sends one of his court officers to jail on Christmas Eve.





	1. Cafeteria Chats

"So, have you decided on where you're going for the holidays, Jackson?" April asks her friend as they are in the cafeteria.

"Skiing in New York." Jackson says excitedly as he puts his cup of ginger tea down. "I think it's going to be a lot of fun."

"I could save you a lot of money." Ben says. "I think that you should just stuff some ice down your pants and hurl yourself into a tree." He finishes with a huge smile on your face.

"I know a girl who'll do that for only 40 bucks." Matthew supplies as he lifts the coffee cup to his mouth.

Charles entered the cafeteria in a Santa suit with a large box.

The others look at him.

"Hey, guys!" He greets.

"Hey, Charles." The greet.

"Where did you get that suit?" Jackson asks. "It's just....hanging off of you."

"It's the only one they had left." He tells Jackson. "I forgot to order the suit weeks ago. Can you believe the rush on Santa suits?"

"On Christmas Eve?" Matthew asks sarcastically.

Charles simply rolls his eyes at Matthew.

"So, how's he toy drive going?" April asks.

"It's been fun and great!" Charles says.

A guy who's whistling _Jingle Bells_ passes by when Charles yells -

"Toys for tots!" Charles yells angrily at the stranger's face.

The guy simply puts his briefcase in the box and scurries off.

"Christmas really brings out the beat in people." He tells the others with a smile on his face.

Suddenly, Cristina walks in wearing an elf suit, carrying a big bag.

Matthew spits her and starts giggling like an idiot.

"Are you laughing at me, Matthew, you whore?"

He starts laughing like crazy.

"Yes, I'm laughing at you." He answers as he's laughing. "People have died laughing at less!"

Cristina pulls out an over-sized fake candy cane.

"Pick a body part, Matthew." She deadpans as she points it to his heart.

"So, you're off to distribute the toys, Cristina?" Jackson asks his colleague.

"Yes, sir. We'll be back in time on sessions so we can see you grow people in jail." She says turning to face Jackson keeping the cane over Matthew's heart.

"Awesome." He says.

She turns back to Matthew and tells him, "I'll await your answer." She says moving the end of the cane to his Adam's apple.

She pulls back the cane and she walks away from him and out the cafeteria.

"Well, I'm off to a couple of Christmas office parties." Matthew says as he stands up. "I don't want to miss any of them!"

"Ahh, getting into the holiday spirit, already Scrooge?" Jackson asks.

"Oh yeah!" Matthew chuckles with glee. "Why not?"

Jackson simply sips on his tea.

"I mean, Christmas is the best time for celebration, friendship. Besides, women are more sexually receptive at Christmas than any other time of year." Matthew says patting Ben's back.

"Oh yeah! Since you brought that up, I figured that the lunch break would be the perfect time to exchange gifts." Jackson says. "Is that fine with you guys?"

"Great!" April says.

"Yeah, that's fine." Ben says.

"Gifts?" A confused Matthew asks.

"Yes, gifts." Jackson says as if it's obvious. "You and Cristina are exchanging gifts. Duh!"

Matthew simply stares at Jackson, completely lost.

"Oh!" He says barely remembering the occasion. "Gifts as in Christmas gifts! Ooh, that's a great time!"  Matthew says, clapping his hands. "You know what? Cristina is gonna live for her gift! She will love it!" He says laughing it off. "See ya guys in a hour or so." 

He walks away from the other three.

"He forgot didn't he?" April asks. "He's gonna ruin it for us. Rules are rules!"

They see Matthew walking up to the person behind the counter.

"Can a doughnut be gift wrapped?" Matthew asks he guy as he pulls the doughnut from a box.

The guy simply looks at Matthew with a _"get real"_ expression.


	2. Hi-Jinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Whacky Courtroom And It's Workers

It is ten minutes before session stars, and Jackson hops on his snowboard pressing play on his remote.

 _I don't want a lot for Christmas  
_ _There is just one thing I need  
_ _I don't care about the presents  
_ _Underneath the Christmas tree_  
I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true oh  
All I want for Christmas is you

Jackson pulls down his ski mask to his forehead as he starts to dance on his snowboard.

 _I don't want a lot for Christmas_  
There is just one thing I need, and I  
Don't care about the presents  
Underneath the Christmas tree  
I don't need to hang my stocking  
There upon the fireplace  
Santa Claus won't make me happy  
With a toy on Christmas day

 _I just want you for my own_  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you

_I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I won't even wish for snow-_

Jackson stops singing and dance once the door opens.

“Jackson!” An old man greets.

“Robert!” Jackson says, shocked to see his father.

“If this is your pity party of the year, I can come back when you’re done.” Robert says, turning on his heels to leave Jackson’s chambers.

“No, come on in.” Jackson says getting off of his snowboard. “So what brings you by?” He asks his father as he hugs him.

“Well, I thought that I would spend some time with my only son before I go back to Montana for the New Year’s.” Robert says as they pull away from each other.

“That’s great!”

“So, what is your actual plan, besides the dancing?”

“Oh, um- I’m uh-”

“Sir, we- Rob! How are you doing?” Ben greets as he and April enter Jackson’s chambers.

“Robert!” April greets hugging the man.

“Hey there, April.” He greets, patting her back. “Hey, Ben!”

“So, what brings you to the Big Apple?” Ben asks the elderly man as April pulled away from Rob’s embrace.

“I just thought that it would be great to visit my son for the Christmas holiday.” Rob states. “I was feeling a little bit lonely, so here I am.”

“Well, it’s great to see you again.” April says.

“It’s great to see you too.” Rob says. “And I like what you did to your hair.”

“Thanks!” April says running her fingers through her pixie cut hair that had one green and one red streak.

“Sir, we have to get started in five minutes if you want to make your ski trip.” Ben supplies.

Jackson’s eyes widen.

“Ski trip? Is that why you were dancing?” Robert asks.

“Yup.” Jackson says in shame.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me.” Robert says.

“You could come with me.” Jackson offers.

“Nah, I can find my friend Richard and we can hang.” He says shrugging off his son’s suggestion.

“Rob, will you be sticking around with us for our holiday party?” April asks.

“Great!” Rob says. “And we can have Christmas party the way your mom liked: watching _Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer_ , drinking eggnog and eating stuff crusted pizza. I am going to liven up the party.”

“Dad, you don’t have to do that!”

“Oh, it’ll be great!” The older Avery says heading for the door. “All I need is to go buy the stuff and we’ll have a wonderful Christmas party.”

He rushes out the chambers.

“This should be fun.” Jackson says, shrugging as he grabs his robe. “Christmas, Avery style, is always a fun one.”

“I hope it is because this place is in desperate need of fun.” Ben says.

“Trust me, it’ll be fun.” Jackson states as he’s putting on the robe and they all exit his chambers.

“Hey, Sir.” Charles greets as he spots Jackson in the hallway.

“Percy.” Jackson greets. “You and Cristina finished distributing the toys?”

“Yup.”

“How did it go with the kids?” Ben asks his colleague.

“It went great!” Charles says. “It’s a real joy to see the children’s faces light up.”

“Careful.” April warns. “If Matthew heard the words that just came out of your mouth, he’d have a heart attack, then find a way to sue you.”

“And I’d dance on his grave when he’s dead.” Charles says. “I just hope that I did a good job as Santa.”

“I’m pretty sure that you did well.” Ben reassured his friend.

“Thanks, Ben.” Charles says as he walks in the court.

“Matty, you gave me the best Christmas present ever.” A woman says not to far from April and Ben.

“There he goes again.” April sighs. “I feel like if he were on the ‘Nice’ list, he’d find his way off of that list.”

“I agree.” Ben says as they watch Matthew and a blonde woman walk towards them.

“You really made my _season bright_ on all levels.” The woman says, snuggling under Matthew’s arm.

Matthew simply waves at his co-workers.

“Hey, Matt. Where’ve you been?” Ben asks.

“We just came from a party where we hung ornaments.” Matthew answers nonchalantly.

“If you’ve been hanging them, why aren’t they still on the tree?” April asks, grabbing an ornament from the box that the woman is holding.

“Oh, we hung them all right.” She says as Matthew wags his eyebrows at April.

“I uh-” Ben says, not knowing what to say except for looking at the ornament in a dirty manner..

“Excuse me while I go….wash up.” A disgusted April says, putting the ornament back in the box and walking away from Matt and his latest conquest.

“Yeah.” Ben says as he walks away from Matthew and his friend.

 **⁂**  

“Alright, Ben, we are on a roll.” Jackson says as he charged a hooker $50 for burning a book on wine. “What do we have next?”

“People VS Christmas Carolers.” Ben says handing Jackson the docket.  

Charles brings in the Carolers and an elderly man.

“ _Someday at Christmas_ , you’re gonna be living a permanent _Silent Night_ , if you don’t like our rendition of _Sleigh Ride_ in this cold _Winter Wonderland_.” A caroler tells the elderly man.

“You’re lucky I didn’t show you my _Jingle Bells_!” The man snaps.

They all start to argue until Jackson bangs his gavel.

“Well, if you hadn’t noticed, the charge is assault.” Ben says to Jackson.

“Your, Honor, my clients were caroling at this man’s front door when he started to heckle them.” April states to the court.

“Sir, the Plaintiffs simply declined the opportunity to sing along with the group as he had a bad run in with a sleigh.” Matthew states to the court. “After they declined, the carolers then threatened to grab him and roast his _Chestnuts on an Open Fire_.”

Jackson leans back on his chair.

”We were just trying to get the people in the holly, jolly, Christmas spirit.” A second caroler says.

“Lovely thought.” Jackson says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes. “One day of community service.” He orders.

“No fair!” Another caroler says.

“It’s either one day community service or a fine of $500 and a day in jail.” He says. “What’s your choice?”

“No jail!” The carolers and the elderly man yelled out.

“Good. One day of community service!” Jackson orders as he bangs his gavel.

Charles escorts the group out of the courtroom.

“Jackson!” Robert calls out excitedly as he rushes in the courtroom.

“Pops!”

“The pizza is on its way, I got the movie all set up and we have tons of eggnog.” Rob states. “Now, I’m off to go watch Chucky for a little bit.”

He scurried out of the courtroom.

Ben looks at Jackson.

“If we hear screaming, at least we know that it’s my father is watching a scary movie and not watching an MMA fight.” Jackson says. “What’s next?” 

“Grand theft.” Ben says as Charles escorts two new people to the bench.

“This man should be incarcerated!” A pompous man demands as he is pointing to a young man.

“Prosecutor?” Jackson asks Matthew.

“Yes, Sir. This is Mr. Shepherd, owner of the “Alex’s Toy World.”

The phone rings and Ben answers the phone.

“And the object in question?” Jackson asks.

“Mr. Karev.” April says. “These two men are competitors.”

“Karev here sells the toys that he steals from Shepherd.” Matthew supplies.

“You got that right.” Alex says. “I sell them at a decent price for those who can’t afford it.”

“He stole all 3000 toys, Sir.” Matthew says.

“Well, this case can officially be turned over to the grand jury.” Jackson says as he is about to bang his gavel, but Ben interrupts him.

“Hang on, Sir.” Ben says as he’s on the phone. “Hold the gavel, because we have a problem with the evidence.”

“What’s the problem with the evidence?” A confused Jackson says.

“It’s gone.” Ben says.

“How in the hell does a truck full of toys just vanish?” Jackson says. “A truck filled with 3000 toys to be exact?”

“Apparently, the truck was parked outside of the building and someone just drove off with the toys.” Ben says repeating the person over the phone. “A big guy. In a Santa like suit.” Ben finishes as he hung up the phone.

“That wasn’t a green and white truck, was it?” Charles asks as he approached the bench.

“You put those toys in with the donations.” Jackson says.

“Oh, crap!” Charles says. “They were right by the drop box, so-”

“You dumb fuck!” Shepherd yells. “Don’t you realize that those toys cost thousands of dollars? I can’t believe that you just gave them away.”

“I didn’t know that. I was just doing my job.” Charles says.

“What exactly happened, Percy?” Jackson asks his friend.

“Well, there were so many stops and a lot of people that were in need of help, but Cristina was cussing out this man who said that she should be more cheerful. She almost went to town on an old woman, and she pushed her in a bush.”

“I guess we’ll have to ask Cristina what happened.” Jackson says.

“Ask me what?” Cristina asks.

“You know those toys that were supposed to be distributed to the kids?”

“Uh-huh.” Cristina says as she approached the bench.

“You remember where they were delivered?” 

“Uh-huh.” Cristina says, nodding her head at Jackson.

“It turns out that they were evidence. They need you to give it back.”

“Uh-Uh.” Cristina declines, shaking her head in disagreement.

Matthew looks at Cristina with a quizzical look on her face.

“This is contempt!” Shepherd yells.

Cristina simply gives the arrogant man a ‘drop dead’ look.

“I’m sorry, but I am not going to go back, snatch toys from those children and deprive them from a good Christmas.” She says.

“I’ll do it!” Matthew volunteered with glee.

“Judge, if you don’t make her turn over the toys, I demand that you send her to jail.”

“Shepherd, this is my courtroom and if you don’t be careful, you’re going to jail!” Jackson says.

“Well, I am not going to return those items, and that’s final.” She says to Shepherd. “If you’re going to send me to jail, I understand. Just send a good bottle of tequila with me, Sir.” She tells Jackson.

“I find you in contempt of court.” Jackson says banging his gavel.

A backup bailiff escorts Cristina out of the courtroom.

“This is terrible!” April exclaims.

“For real! She picked my name out, and now I’m out a gift.” Matthew says.


	3. Hotel Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's Phone Call

_"Mariah Carey, the time has come for you to Plead the Fifth." Andy Cohen says as the lights dim._

_"Oh!" Mariah exclaims._

_"I have three questions for you."_

_"Ok."_

_"You may plead the fifth to only one of them."_

_"In America, it's more than one." Mariah she says, softly chucking._

_"Yes, but in the clubhouse it's only one."_

_"Hahaha, ok." Mariah says._

_Andy fixes his cards._

_"Mariah Carey?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Name one celebrity that we would be surprised to hear hit on you."_

_Mariah laughs._

_"I don't know. You could ask me a person and I can say if they did." She answered. "I'm so like- I guess I'm flirtatious kind of, and-" She chuckles. "-I don't mean to be. That's just how I am. I talk to people, so then they think, you know, that something is going on. Really, it's not that kind of part-ay, so I just go along my merry way and I don't know what happens. The truth of the matter is whenever they hit on me or not, nothing happened."_

_"Mariah Carey. Name three nice things about Eminem."_

_She takes a sip of her wine._

_"They come in a package that you can carry wherever you go-"_

_The audience roars with applause and laughter as she is answering the question._

_"Um...people around the world love them, and they're tasty. You can have peanut and you can have the regular kind.”_

_Right after she said this, she gave a smile and hair toss that everyone loved._

_"Very good!" Andy exclaims happily. "Mariah Carey, what is your biggest career regret?"_

_"Honestly it was always Glitter because it wasn't - I didn't have somebody in control. I really needed a Hollywood legend in control. I'm not saying that there weren't people involved, but it used to be so-" She sighs. "It used to be called the "G" word. We couldn't bring it up."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes, but now, I look at it at retrospect because I learned something, I'm grateful for that experience, but it was a horrible couple years." Mariah answered. "I had to get my momentum back for people to let it go."_

_"Thank you very much, Mariah Carey!" Andy cheers as the audience claps._

_"That's it!" Mariah exclaimed happily._

**⁂**

"Ahh. This is the best Christmas ever." Jackson sighs as he sips on his eggnog while he is watching an old episode of  _What What Happens Live_.

Suddenly his phone rings.

"Who the hell is calling me?!" He says clumsily spilling his eggnog. "Who the hell is it?!"

He lowers the volume.

"Oh! April." He says trying to fix himself up as if she was going to come to his cold hotel room. "I'm good. I'm watching TV. I had a good time on the slopes, had a date, came back, took a shower, and now I'm drinking some eggnog."

He starts making his way from the couch to the window.

"What?" He asks, tripping over his unwrapped presents. 

He's shocked at the news.


	4. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Messed Up Dinner

_April goes down to the cell and visits Cristina._

_“Cristina, how are you holding up?” April asks as she gives her co-worker a good bottle of Don Julio and Hornitos._

_“Good now that I’ve got the good stuff.” She says taking the bottles from her friend. “I even made a new friend and found a hidden cave to the sub-sub-basement of the building.”_

_“There’s a what?”_

_“Yup.” Cristina says. “Let’s go.”_

_Cristina leads April to the sub sub-basement of the cell that is dimly lit._

_“Wow! I didn’t even know this existed!”_

_“Me either.” Cristina says handing her new friend a bottle of tequila. “Meredith, this is April. April, Meredith.”_

_“Nice to meet you.” April says._

_“She landed in here for hoisting her cheating husband by his Adam’s Apple.”_

_“And I am proud of that.” Meredith says taking a swig from the newly opened bottle of tequila. “Also my husband was a grinch, so…..”_

_“I would have loved to have seen that.” April sighs._

_“A self-righteous woman like you seems too…honest to a fault.” Meredith supplies._

_“And don’t forget somewhat naïve, Mer.” Cristina supplies._

_April rolls her eyes._

_She turns to her left._

_“What are you too making in that pot?” She asks._

_“Revenge!” The two women say. “We are going to be known as the “Twisted Sisters” who gets their revenge on condescending people.”_

_“Well, damn.” April exclaims._

_“It’s gonna be good.” Meredith says as she puts the bottle down and starts stirring the pot as Cristina pours an unmarked content into the mixture. “This potion goes out to the popular bitches and stuck up jocks that thought that they were the shit.”_

_“Bastards at Christmas time.” Cristina says._

_“And cheating husbands.”_

_“Man, this is interesting on all levels.” April says. “If this was a book, I would but it in a heartbeat.”_

_“No doubt about that.” Cristina says. “I think that you’d also be the person who’d date an older man.”_

_“What’s wrong with that?”_

_“If you had kids with the older man, your children’s friends would be playing out in the streets playing with each other while your kids would be building a ramp in the backyard for their father.” Cristina says._

_Meredith starts laughing._

_“True or not, at least my life would be cool, even if I don’t care to be popular.” April says._

_“Well being popular isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.” Meredith says. “I’m a Grey by birth and association.”_

_April’s eyes widen._

_“Enough about that.” Meredith says. “Popularity in my case was based on cars, how many people I knew which was hard because being myself around people got tiring in so may ways.”_

_“So, did they pick on you?” April asks._

_“Pick on me? No, but they did hate me because I am the daughter of a famous doctor. At least they never bothered to dunk my face in the toilet like some of my peers.”_

_“I did that when people got smart with me.” Cristina says. “This is some good tequila, April!”_

_“Thanks.” April says._

_“I can’t wait to see my personal payback on these bastards.” Meredith chuckles as she mixes the potion._

_“It’s gonna be even sweeter when that modern day Grinch gets what’s coming to him very soon.” Cristina cackles._

_“You and I are going to be the baddest bitches in New York tonight.” Meredith says as she and Cristina clink their bottles together._

_“Don’t you wish that you can teach this to other people?” April asks._

_“Hell yeah!” Cristina says._

_“We’re like two peas in a pod.” Meredith supplies as Cristina puts in the last of the ingredients._

_“Hmmm. Sounds like you guys are living that song Ladies Who Lunch.” April says._

_“That song where she sings “everybody rise” in Company?” Cristina asks in a dry-tone._

_“Yup.” April says. “I love that song.”_

_“It’s safe to say that you need a man in your life because I believe that if you had a nickel for every man you had, you’d probably have fifteen cents.”_

_“Done.” Meredith says before April can respond. “Payback is coming soon.”_

_“Let’s go back up.” Cristina says. “Besides, I’m pretty sure that Pretty Boy is gonna be resuming court soon.”_

_April nods and they move to the regular basement._

_“I’ll see you later?” April asks he co-worker._

_“You sure will.” Cristina says._

_“Nice meeting you, Meredith.” April says as she leaves the jail cell._

⁂

“So what happened after you came back once I called Cristina back to court, releasing her from jail?” Jackson asks.

⁂

_“Merry Christmas, Jackson.” April says as she pecks his lips and leaves his office._

_“So, can we have dinner with you?” Meredith asks._

_“Why?” April asks in return._

_“Because I told her that you can cook a meal like no other bitch.” Cristina deadpanned._

_“Since you put it that way…” April says._

_“Good, because I invited her ex-husband and a couple other people.”_

_“What?”_

_“Relax, Kepner.” Cristina says._

_“It’s gonna be a good dinner.” Meredith says._

⁂

_“So, did you like your candy apple colored car?” Meredith asks her husband._

_“My girl and I sure did.” He responds._

_Meredith rolls her eyes._

_“Um….does anyone want more wine?” Cristina asks._

_“I do.” Derek says._

_“Me too.” His girlfriend responds._

_“Of course.” Meredith says pouring wine into her husband’s and his mistress’ glass._

_“Here’s to a great Christmas.” The mistress says making a toast to everyone._

_“And a great new year.” Derek supplies._

_“Can we move on?” Cristina deadpans._

_The all drink from their goblets._

_Suddenly, Derek and his mistress freeze._

_“What the-?” April exclaims, shocked, dazed and confused._

_“Payback, it’s a bitch.” Meredith says with glee._

_The three women notice that Derek and the mistress turn into stone._

_“I got the iron club.” Cristina says pulling the iron club from under her seat at the dinner table._

_“Where did you-?”_

_Meredith pulls out her phone and searches for a song._

_“You love this song!” Cristina says as Where Does the Good Go starts playing._

_“I know.” Meredith says as she grabs the iron club with the spiky ball at the end and starts swinging at Derek, breaking him._

_Cristina laughs and cheers with glee as Derek disintegrates into pieces._

_“My turn.” Cristina says as she goes to turn on the mistress._

_The mistress crumbles from the waist up, as April is wondering what the hell is going on._

_Finally, Cristina stops hitting the mistress’ stone-like body._

_“Good work, my sister.” Meredith says as she lifts one of the goblets._

_April’s eyes widen._

_They picked up the wrong wine goblets._

_“Wait, don’t-” April says as she tries to stop the women from drinking their special wine._

_“I concur.” Cristina says as they toast to their….devious deed._

_“Don’t-” April but it’s too late._

_As they take a sip of their wine, they turn into stone themselves._

_April is in shock._

_“Well, they got what they wished for, and then some.” She tells herself what the hell to do._

⁂

“That is a messed up Christmas!” Jackson says. “And I thought that the case was bad!”

"If you thought that was bad, you won't believe me when I say that Charles was abducted by aliens and Matthew got chased by a huge eight ball." April says.

"Oh boy."

"Yup, and there's a dumb blonde who calls her self _2018_."

"Huh?"

"Yup. She's dressed up as a baby, legally changing her name from _'Alexandra Grey'_ to _'Two-Thousand Eighteen'_ , all for the upcoming New Year."

"Lord." Jackson says, rolling his eyes.


End file.
